“One day we will look back at the events of 2020 and laugh”


Whoever says this needs a slap!


I certainly will not look back and laugh, that is unless you count demonic hysterics broken up with tears and screams as laughter.


From lockdowns to fights over toilet rolls, from hoteliers playing at being political leaders, a real version of Whitehouse Down, conspiracy theorists who believe the world is flat and QAnon is JFK jnr, we have seen it all.


And now, as we start 2021 the aftermath of 2020 still haunts us. The world continues to fall apart, the Dutch are rioting, France & Germany are about to go into full lockdown again, the UK doesn’t rule the waves anymore and here in the UAE our Facebook Moms Groups are talking doom & gloom while getting vaccinated to take advantage of discounts from mercenary businesses.


Just yesterday I watched and listened to a father walk his young daughter around the local supermarket meticulously calculating every step he took to make sure he avoided being anywhere near another human while loudly narrating a live commentary to his bewildered child…. “ oh lets not go down that aisle, there are more that 3 people there”, “Never buy loose fruit, you do not know who has touched it” and as he shopped he would spray every item with his personal disinfectant before putting it into a dirty, potentially bug infested shopping cart!


Although 2020 taught us the importance of hygiene, and made the wearing of a face mask normal, sadly 2020 also created a scary and growing number of experts we now have. Medical, nutritional, exercise, mental health, political and legal experts, we now have more than we ever had before and each have a wealth of Google expertise they believe licenses them to force their opinions and Whatsapp forwarded facts down our throats.


2020 also missed a golden opportunity to link COVID with Audi’s and vegans, we missed a chance to wrap all three into one category of things we wish we never get or become!


Personally I will miss 2020, I will miss how it exposed the true colors of some of those around us, I will miss its unpredictable torture and I will miss its reminders that most of what I thought was important in my life was in fact a burden on my happiness rather a luxury.


2020, I will miss you, you helped me make decisions I would have previously shelved, you drained the swamp of assholes, liars and pretentious leaches, and for that and more I applaud you for it was you who slapped reality back into my life!


I grew up in the 80’s, well when I say I grew up that means I spent th latter 80’s in high school. As well as being the most defining part of my life, it was also a time when I look back with fond memories of not knowing a single person who had a not allergy, was lactose intolerant and I definitely did not know any vegan’s let alone know what one was.


Back in those days we used to eat anything and everything, our restaurant and fast food menus were simple of full of everything that Is now regarded as unhealthy. We used to go out for dinner and not a single person would say, “do you have anything gluten, fat free and vegan”!


Oh how times have changed, we now have packets of peanuts with a warning label stating “contains nuts”, we can menu’s that cater for every type of allergy, intolerance and liking, we have people who will gladly eat a handful of peanut on the condition they are organic, growth in an ethical farm, packed in biodegradable packing and served by a person who has not touched meat beforehand.


I recently went through a patch of being brainwashed into believing I was intolerant to a few things including milk and gluten, I went out of my way to avoid both and for a while I felt pretty good about it. But the interesting thing is that once I reverted to be a normal human being, I felt no different, especially after indulging in a tub of ice cream or a round of heavily buttered toast. In fact, I have never felt better, the stress of eating what I want without reading every ingredient has without question made me a happy person.


Don’t get me wrong, I know there are many people who have genuine allergies and I fully respect that, but those who are not allergic but are intolerant I question, surely if you break out in spots, get a rash or become a miserable sneezing preacher after eating butter means you are allergic and not intolerant!


Those with allergies need to pay special attention to what they eat, we all know these allergies can be life threatening. But those will intolerances need to wake up and smell the caffeine free coffee and accept that there is a fine line between being intolerantly fashionable and downright annoying.


As I grow older, I become wiser and my sense of smell becomes stronger, bullshit now smells stronger than it did back in the 80’s!

Most of us sat my our TV’s, laptops and phones watching the US election results unravel, we watched as state after state declared the winner, we listened to TV networks making exit predictions while realising we really do not understand how the US electoral count works.


As we watched the US map turn Red, Blue & grey the one thing we expected to hear didn’t happen, and as I write this, we still have no clear 100% confirmed or accepted winner!


What we do have however is one of the most comical fiasco’s in history!


Let us put aside politics, economic strategies, international policies, race relations, health & medical care, let us put aside how the US has the highest number of COVID cases & deaths, let us put all that aside in the same way both the Democrats & Republicans alike have done.


Let us also put aside how the exiting President of United States of America has, with the help of his inept, unexperienced and arrogant family made a farce of what was once regarded as the greatest power in the world. This election has seen a rift develop not only in America but around the world, a rift caused my one orange skinned narcissistic madman.


We have witnessed countries spend millions to hide their slums rather than feed their poor just to appease his visit, the world has demonstrated and we have seen news networks ridiculed and belittled, we saw the birth of fake News!


Many Trump loving lemmings sat back and ignored his rants about building walls, banning foreigners, singling out religions, mocking the poor, disabled, underprivileged and casting his vile racist beliefs down their throats. Let us forget this is the same man who promoted grabbing women’s p##ssies, who spoke and behave inappropriately with his own daughter, and apparently had a fondness of golden showers.


Let us put aside how the President of the United States of America may have secret bank accounts in countries where his family have registered hundreds of multimillion dollar product patents while criticizing that same countries trade policies. Let us ignore the debt he is rumored to have, or alleged links to crime syndicates and global political antagonizes. Let us brush aside his endless lies, cover ups, contradictions and ignorance, and let us not even think about his personal links and promotion of far-right white supremacist groups.


Putting all that aside, let us all walk away remembering….


That a once elected leader can turn into a potential dictator hell bent on causing maximum disruption before he is forced out of office, even when he does leave with his box of sharpies he will continue to brainwash his blind followers that not only is he the true elected president but he was chosen by God to do good in an evil world.


Let us never forget that regardless who eventually will be gifted the poison challis of leading the US, they will always have an agenda that will bring nothing but unrest and unhappiness to the rest of the world.


But most of all, let us never forget that the 2020 Presidential Elections have proven one simple fact…


Democracy is dead, America the land of the free, and the Star-Spangled Banner, killed it!